Miss me? Cause you know if the pounds were melting off I couldn't keep my mouth shut right?
I hit the dreaded plateau. I haven't stepped on that lovely silver scale since the last time I blogged. Aside from my one year anniversary dinner with Josh, there have been all these "occasions" where I felt either the obligation or "right" to eat outside of my plan. I have hit a plateau and i was PISSED OFF about it.
This last month i was supposed to have dropped another 15 pounds, remember? DIDN'T. Maybe i even gained a few pounds back. I wouldn't know. I am not on speaking terms with my scale.
But you know what? SO THE EFF WHAT. I just decided that. Is my self worth based on whether or not I drop 30 pounds before my trip "back home"? HAYELL NO. Am I any less of a wonderful human being if I am not a lower weight than I feel I should be? No. Do my children love me and value me any less ? No. Does Josh love and desire me any less? A resounding NO. My worth is not based on a number on a scale. I am still eating my twiggy cereal for breakfast, having diet shakes, salads and lean cuisines for lunch and reasonable dinners. ahem... and some alcohol. I have darkened the door of my gym FIVE whole times i think. And I am proud of myself.
Wanna know what else? Those girdle-ish undergarments I always wear under my skirts an work clothes? I don't feel like I am compelled to wear them every single day. sometimes i don't' wear any at all and i am ok with that. And that is a really big step. I look thinner from the side. i see it. Some days my skirt zips up like greased lightening and other days it doesn't. But I believe i am making progress and I am choosing to be OK with that.
It's been a really intense week for me but that is for a different blog. Tonight I just need wine. It has been a low calorie day and my dinner is a big salad... and i am having two glasses of King Estates Pinot Gris. And i am enjoying every sip.
I am checking in to say I am a human being who doesn't always have a peppy positive thing to report. It has not been a successful month number wise. But in the month of March I celebrated: 7 years post divorce. 4 years at my job. 1 amazing wonderful blissful year with Josh. And those are the things that matter in life more than my waist.
That's all I got. Looking ahead.
~S
You're awesome and I love ya!
ReplyDelete(Sounded pretty peppy to me :)
Did miss you. I'm not a big fan of peppy, so feel free to express the downs as well as ups. See ya soon.
ReplyDeleteyou certainly do not have to be peppy all the time (or even any of the time). you really are a human being! a tip i am using is whenever i start feeling i deserve or have a right to eat something delicious (read: fatty!), i give myself a moment to think that i also have the right to be fit and healthy. and on another topic, do you zumba? it is totally fun and i think burns like a million calories (lol). i do it at oakway.
ReplyDelete