So I have no weight to report as I am not where my scale is. But that's OK. While losing scale weight is VERY essential to me, there are other "signposts" that are equally as important to me. Like the skirt that zipped up all the way and my "Casual Friday Jeans". This past Friday, they felt loose around the waist and never pinched at all.
So I think I have determined that I need to lower my calorie count. I also think that I am going to start bringing raw vegetables with me to snack on at work. Not necessarily because i am hungry but because I just don't feel I am getting enough fresh produce. As of right now, I have not made my exercise quota for the week let along "stepped it up". Our plan is to hit the gym at some point today, so there is hope yet.
I feel a difference in my middle. I haven't had the small apnea like occurrence happen in a while (that I am aware of) which tells me my body has made some changes. All that said, if i don't lower my calorie count, I am not going to see the loss I want to see in the time I want to see it. So I am going to attempt to make 1000 my top calorie level. Gasp. Maybe even 800-1000. This will probably require me to rely more on the shakes and less on the frozen meals. I just know I am not losing the scale pounds and that is what i am eager to see.
Also, there have been too many exceptions lately in my schedule.. work receptions, parties etc. I have had alcohol three times this week which is definitely not a part of my plan. I think I need to limit it to two drinks a week at the very most. I have eaten food items that are not on my plan in circumstances where i didn't have as much choice or control over what was being served/offered. In the past I might have chosen to avoid those circumstances or brought something along with me or simply abstained from what was being served. There have been three occurrences this week alone where this happened. I need to be more judicious about where I end up and with what tools to get through the occasion.
The GOOD news is that my portion control HAS improved significantly and, during those occasions I have eaten outside of my plan, I ate small amounts rather than a bountiful plateful. Portion control has always been my weak spot.
So in a nutshell on a lazy Sunday afternoon, I am discouraged by my lack of progress and some of my poorer decisions this week but encouraged by my persistence and commitment to my program. I WILL weigh in at the end of the weekend and report honestly even if i show a gain.
I have taken the celery cleanse for two full days now and have not encountered a miraculous result yet. I realize that it can take several days for it to kick in and I will try to be patient for another day or so. The product allows for doubling up on the product if needed. Today I will do four packets instead of two. If after a week I am not seeing results, I will order a different product.
I don't have much else to report. Ups and Downs.. life happens. I haven't been as successful at navigating the special events as I have been my regular days and I am going to need to prepare for that better. I have found that if I don't have a solid plan walking into a situation, I am not going to come out successful.
I am eager to hear how everyone else is doing and what is encouraging you and discouraging you? What has been successful for you? What obstacles have you overcome?
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Day 16 and looking forward
OK. My luxurious soak in the pity tub is over. As people have said repeatedly.. I didn't put this weight on overnight and it isn't goign to come off overnight. Let's look at my progress:
I STARTED. That, in and of itself, is huge. If I hadn't started, I would still be .. well.. where I started and more depressed and simply whining about how I hated how I look. TODAY I am in the mindset of progress, I have changed significant lifestyle decisions and I have seen (as of this am) an official 9 pound loss since my mammo in early January.. but specifically since I began this program 16 days ago. I went from being 100% sedentary to the point of taking an elevator instead of going up two flights of stairs to the third floor of appointments.. to becoming NON sedentary looking for opportunities to walk instead of ride and eager to get back to the gym when I can work it in.
A skirt I couldn't zip up the last few inches now zips up all the way. My jeans no longer leave me with the appearance of a surgical scar across my tummy. I am hydrating myself daily. I have limited my alcohol intake to one or maybe two drinks per week if at all. (not to diss on myself, but that is a big change for me).
This morning I weighed myself and was at 165. Not a huge loss from the last weigh in, but it totals 9 pounds from my zap me into reality weigh in at the doctor's office in early January. AND IT'S A LOSS. If I had been doing Weight Watchers, I MIGHT have seen half this loss in 16 days, but likely not.
As I type, I have one of my "ocean sounds subliminals" playing. Again.. if all this does for me is a placebo effect, then that is fine with me as long as I see a result. I can testify that when I had been listening to the exercise motivation ones last week, I was chomping at the bit to get in the gym. I haven't listened to it since and haven't had that pressing urge since.
Also, I am keeping in mind this loss is coming in the worst time of my cycle. I am content that I saw a loss.
I also FEEL different. Have i dropped two sizes? No. But that last bit of hugely uncomfortable extra I had put on is not here anymore. And I am 9 pounds closer to where I was 16 days ago.
Dispelling well-meaning advise:
There are (at least) two kinds of people who have faced weight loss needs. Those that have always had weight issues and have needed to constantly be on top of it or conscious of it from childhood on and those who grew up without weight issues but have come to a point in their lives they have weight to take off due to childbirth or age or bad eating habits that have caught up with them.
I have seen people who grew up skinny even eating unlimited junk food, drinking soda, and never needing to pay attention to these things who find themselves as adults utterly clueless how to cope with weight gain. Some learn how to take the weight off and some simply never address it.
I am one who is genetically predisposed to certain traits from birth. My brother used to joke about one of my baby pictures calling me the Michelin Tire Man. As a baby, I had fat pads like the said character even though i wasn't a fat baby, per se. I was never fat as a child or teenager, but I struggled with weight issues. I had a teensy waist naturally, but was significantly bottom heavy. I have literally never ever a single day in my whole life had thin legs. And I assume that I never will. I can post pictures of myself at 95 pounds at the age of 16 with a rail thin waist... and heavy thighs. I have never ever been looked at as skinny. I come from a family with both weight issues on one side, genetic body characteristics on the other side and extremely neurotic self-hating weight/eating habits/thoughts generationally. I remember being "on a diet" at the age of 8. I have never not been conscious of my size. I was also married to a man who preferred ultra stick skinny women and was never content with my size even when I weight 107 pounds AFTER having a child.
I grew up knowing how to cook healthy and economically. I have been a raw vegan, done long term fresh juice fasts, done low carb heavy carnivore diets, and everything in between. There was a time I ate only fresh fruits and vegetables with raw seeds and nuts. I made salad dressings out of first cold pressed olive oil and ground seeds and nuts. I know all about what to eliminate that is unhealthy. Except for an occasional loaf of potato bread and Challah, I literally never have purchased white bread in my adult life. I nearly never eat pasta or rice.. even at the Chinese buffet. I KNOW HOW TO EAT HEALTHY. It is really really hard for me when people tell me "Just cut out xyz and the weight will come off". Please know that i appreciate input and believe that is the healthy way to eat. But it will NOT make the weight come off me. Please trust me. When I did Weight Watchers to the letter and ate at the bottom of my points allowance, I might have dropped a half pound to a pound a week IF THAT. And sometimes I didn't lose anything at all consistently.
After I had my youngest, I tried several different plans and found myself stuck or gaining. I eventually went on a series of water fasts, juice fasts, eating raw, and doing a combination of the above to finally lose about 30 pounds. And I did maintain nearly all of the loss even when I began eating "normal but extremely healthy" again. But eating raw alone.. no weight loss.
Please trust me on this. You don't have to agree with me or do what I am doing, but please understand that I know my body and I know what doesn't work for me. This is what I have chosen for very specific reasons. I have no intention of living forever on prepackaged frozen meals and diet shakes. I feel confident I can maintain my lost weight by eating in the ways I know to be best for my body: a diet based on fresh produce with minimal carbs and plenty of lean protein. And lots of exercise.
OK. I am done with all that.
So I wanted to share a few of the tools I have found helpful to me. This is the daily diary I have been printing off and using to keep track of my eating habits, calories, water, and activity. Sometimes I jot feelings down or goals.
http://www.personal-nutrition-guide.com/food-diary.html
This is the web page of my "Guru Hera". http://www.easywayshow.com/
I realize my results will not mirror hers for a variety of reasons, but she has been a huge inspiration to me. She has a Youtube site and a blog as well. You can probably find all that by on the website or by googling Impatient dieter. Unfortunately, she has not been quite as active lately on her page, but please note that her weight loss journey is many years old and that she has maintained her drastic loss for two years. I look at results like that and listen.
Here is a web site I found yesterday that I found compelling. I haven't explored it thoroughly, but it began as three sisters on a weight loss journey and evolved into a site with over 70,000 followers. I got my weight tracker at this site. http://www.3fatchicks.com/
So today my focus is to drink my water (yesterday I was lucky if I drank 24 whole ounces. Today I need to hit about 96 or so) and to get motivated and make concrete plans to get back into the gym. I have two more workouts to make my weekly minimum and I vowed to "step it up" in some way this week. This might involve getting onto some lifting machines when i am off the treadmill or simply having a fourth day.
One of my friends expressed a concern that my 40 pounds by the end of April was setting myself up to fail. Yeah.. I can see that. But I have seen 9 pounds in 2 weeks more or less.. so it is possible. It is what I am aiming for. If i surpass it... wonderful. If i don't meet it but have lost 20 or 25 then i am that much further ahead than I was. It IS possible. Is it probable? Maybe not. But I plan to try.
Most of all.. I have so much appreciated all the support and comments I have gotten. Each of you who are following the blog "officially", I have silently noticed and appreciated each one. Even Tricia who I haven't even acknowledged but have meant to say THANK YOU and I am so glad you are here. I thank the ones who have read my blogs and commented on my Facebook Page and urged me onward or told me how my blog had sustained them that day (Like you, Ilana). You are my support team and I cannot overstate how much I appreciate the support and comraderie.
Have a successful day.. whatever that means for you..
S
I STARTED. That, in and of itself, is huge. If I hadn't started, I would still be .. well.. where I started and more depressed and simply whining about how I hated how I look. TODAY I am in the mindset of progress, I have changed significant lifestyle decisions and I have seen (as of this am) an official 9 pound loss since my mammo in early January.. but specifically since I began this program 16 days ago. I went from being 100% sedentary to the point of taking an elevator instead of going up two flights of stairs to the third floor of appointments.. to becoming NON sedentary looking for opportunities to walk instead of ride and eager to get back to the gym when I can work it in.
A skirt I couldn't zip up the last few inches now zips up all the way. My jeans no longer leave me with the appearance of a surgical scar across my tummy. I am hydrating myself daily. I have limited my alcohol intake to one or maybe two drinks per week if at all. (not to diss on myself, but that is a big change for me).
This morning I weighed myself and was at 165. Not a huge loss from the last weigh in, but it totals 9 pounds from my zap me into reality weigh in at the doctor's office in early January. AND IT'S A LOSS. If I had been doing Weight Watchers, I MIGHT have seen half this loss in 16 days, but likely not.
As I type, I have one of my "ocean sounds subliminals" playing. Again.. if all this does for me is a placebo effect, then that is fine with me as long as I see a result. I can testify that when I had been listening to the exercise motivation ones last week, I was chomping at the bit to get in the gym. I haven't listened to it since and haven't had that pressing urge since.
Also, I am keeping in mind this loss is coming in the worst time of my cycle. I am content that I saw a loss.
I also FEEL different. Have i dropped two sizes? No. But that last bit of hugely uncomfortable extra I had put on is not here anymore. And I am 9 pounds closer to where I was 16 days ago.
Dispelling well-meaning advise:
There are (at least) two kinds of people who have faced weight loss needs. Those that have always had weight issues and have needed to constantly be on top of it or conscious of it from childhood on and those who grew up without weight issues but have come to a point in their lives they have weight to take off due to childbirth or age or bad eating habits that have caught up with them.
I have seen people who grew up skinny even eating unlimited junk food, drinking soda, and never needing to pay attention to these things who find themselves as adults utterly clueless how to cope with weight gain. Some learn how to take the weight off and some simply never address it.
I am one who is genetically predisposed to certain traits from birth. My brother used to joke about one of my baby pictures calling me the Michelin Tire Man. As a baby, I had fat pads like the said character even though i wasn't a fat baby, per se. I was never fat as a child or teenager, but I struggled with weight issues. I had a teensy waist naturally, but was significantly bottom heavy. I have literally never ever a single day in my whole life had thin legs. And I assume that I never will. I can post pictures of myself at 95 pounds at the age of 16 with a rail thin waist... and heavy thighs. I have never ever been looked at as skinny. I come from a family with both weight issues on one side, genetic body characteristics on the other side and extremely neurotic self-hating weight/eating habits/thoughts generationally. I remember being "on a diet" at the age of 8. I have never not been conscious of my size. I was also married to a man who preferred ultra stick skinny women and was never content with my size even when I weight 107 pounds AFTER having a child.
I grew up knowing how to cook healthy and economically. I have been a raw vegan, done long term fresh juice fasts, done low carb heavy carnivore diets, and everything in between. There was a time I ate only fresh fruits and vegetables with raw seeds and nuts. I made salad dressings out of first cold pressed olive oil and ground seeds and nuts. I know all about what to eliminate that is unhealthy. Except for an occasional loaf of potato bread and Challah, I literally never have purchased white bread in my adult life. I nearly never eat pasta or rice.. even at the Chinese buffet. I KNOW HOW TO EAT HEALTHY. It is really really hard for me when people tell me "Just cut out xyz and the weight will come off". Please know that i appreciate input and believe that is the healthy way to eat. But it will NOT make the weight come off me. Please trust me. When I did Weight Watchers to the letter and ate at the bottom of my points allowance, I might have dropped a half pound to a pound a week IF THAT. And sometimes I didn't lose anything at all consistently.
After I had my youngest, I tried several different plans and found myself stuck or gaining. I eventually went on a series of water fasts, juice fasts, eating raw, and doing a combination of the above to finally lose about 30 pounds. And I did maintain nearly all of the loss even when I began eating "normal but extremely healthy" again. But eating raw alone.. no weight loss.
Please trust me on this. You don't have to agree with me or do what I am doing, but please understand that I know my body and I know what doesn't work for me. This is what I have chosen for very specific reasons. I have no intention of living forever on prepackaged frozen meals and diet shakes. I feel confident I can maintain my lost weight by eating in the ways I know to be best for my body: a diet based on fresh produce with minimal carbs and plenty of lean protein. And lots of exercise.
OK. I am done with all that.
So I wanted to share a few of the tools I have found helpful to me. This is the daily diary I have been printing off and using to keep track of my eating habits, calories, water, and activity. Sometimes I jot feelings down or goals.
http://www.personal-nutrition-guide.com/food-diary.html
This is the web page of my "Guru Hera". http://www.easywayshow.com/
I realize my results will not mirror hers for a variety of reasons, but she has been a huge inspiration to me. She has a Youtube site and a blog as well. You can probably find all that by on the website or by googling Impatient dieter. Unfortunately, she has not been quite as active lately on her page, but please note that her weight loss journey is many years old and that she has maintained her drastic loss for two years. I look at results like that and listen.
Here is a web site I found yesterday that I found compelling. I haven't explored it thoroughly, but it began as three sisters on a weight loss journey and evolved into a site with over 70,000 followers. I got my weight tracker at this site. http://www.3fatchicks.com/
So today my focus is to drink my water (yesterday I was lucky if I drank 24 whole ounces. Today I need to hit about 96 or so) and to get motivated and make concrete plans to get back into the gym. I have two more workouts to make my weekly minimum and I vowed to "step it up" in some way this week. This might involve getting onto some lifting machines when i am off the treadmill or simply having a fourth day.
One of my friends expressed a concern that my 40 pounds by the end of April was setting myself up to fail. Yeah.. I can see that. But I have seen 9 pounds in 2 weeks more or less.. so it is possible. It is what I am aiming for. If i surpass it... wonderful. If i don't meet it but have lost 20 or 25 then i am that much further ahead than I was. It IS possible. Is it probable? Maybe not. But I plan to try.
Most of all.. I have so much appreciated all the support and comments I have gotten. Each of you who are following the blog "officially", I have silently noticed and appreciated each one. Even Tricia who I haven't even acknowledged but have meant to say THANK YOU and I am so glad you are here. I thank the ones who have read my blogs and commented on my Facebook Page and urged me onward or told me how my blog had sustained them that day (Like you, Ilana). You are my support team and I cannot overstate how much I appreciate the support and comraderie.
Have a successful day.. whatever that means for you..
S
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Bla bla Day 15 Bla Bla
Can you tell how thrilled I am?
OK so first.. I met my exercise goals for last week and am 1/3 the way through this week more or less (read: i walked to a meeting in the rain equaling 20 mostly brisk walking minutes).
The icky TMI stuff: despite the mysterious powder attempts and some fiber laxative help, I found myself er... deadlocked. By Sunday evening I did a sea salt water flush. I had used this a few times when I did a 30 day juice fast in 2002. Mix 2 teaspoons of sea salt in a quart of warm water and guzzle it down. No more blockage. In fact, the ocean will rain out of your butt. It EVENTUALLY worked, but not for a while and only after I drank nearly a second quart of VERY SALTY WATER. After that, all I wanted to do was guzzle fresh water and eat fruit.
Monday I woke up feeling like a pickle. I seriously felt like some briny sea creature and seriously OFF. I drank probably 100 ounces of water to try to dilute the salty feeling I had. My eyes were puffy and I had some edema and it was very NOT GOOD. The sea salt is not supposed to be absorbed into your body and I have read hundreds of testimonies of how wonderfully this works and without any side effects. I can only guess that my reaction came from a) poor quality sea salt (dear Josh ran out to get me some sea salt and I had forgotten to tell him specifically what kind and where to find it. He brought back Morton's brand which is probably refined and without any trace minerals.) or b) my current diet plan. Regardless.. it did what it was supposed to do and this morning I woke up feeling normal.
I SWORE I would not weigh myself this morning. I mean.. after being brined.. after eating a bigger than normal dinner the night before and being at the wrong portion of my cycle.. it seemed.. unwise emotionally :) So i did it anyhow. The first time showed a three pound loss.. and the next three times showed three other totally different random numbers (showing gains) so i kicked the damned scale back under my bed and forgot about it. OK so i didn't really forget about it. I internally whined about how hard I have worked at this and GEEZ by now I should have seen a dramatic difference... and why oh why is it SO hard for me to shed this damned weight?
Sniff. Sob. Then I put my skirt on. The same skirt i wrote about last week... and zipped it all the way up to the top with ease (last week i wasn't able to) so that pacified me some.
I have this inner fear that I am not going to see much of a loss by my goal time and will make a public idiot of myself on this blog. Sniff. Sob. I am not sure if I need to eat fewer calories or more. I am going with fewer. This week I was to up my exercise routine a notch.. from three incidents of activity I would not normally do to .. I don't know.. something more. I am still afraid to go to a class at the gym yet. I am SO incredibly out of condition that I am afraid I won't make it through a full class. And I am so not about public humiliation :) (That is why I am writing a blog about how much weight I have gained, right?)
Can you see all this negativity I am stewing in????? I know that we project into our lives and tend to fulfill what we project. This is not what I want to be sowing into my existence.
In other news, I found a site that has all kinds of calculations for dieting... how many calories you need to maintain your weight, lose fat, lose extreme fat (is any of my fat NOT extreme?). One of the calculators was to determine what your ideal weight should be. For my height, gender and frame (medium or large boned) the thing told me i should weigh 91 - 97 pounds (medium boned) or 102-107 pounds (large boned). Are you friggen kidding me? I think my ass weighs that much right now. Ok. No it doesn't. I weighed about 100 to 105 pounds in HIGH SCHOOL. I am not sure i will ever get under 120 again. Maybe 115 if i make this my entire focus in life... but 107????? That depressed me. Even Weight Watchers states that my goal range should be from 97-120 pounds.
So I will weigh myself tomorrow and "weigh in" honestly. If i haven't lost, then so be it. I will adjust SOMETHING in the plan and try to hone in on what I need to do differently.
I am just so impatient. I want to have results like the Impatient Dieter did and drop 20 pounds in two weeks (she dropped it in two days..) and am frustrated that I haven't. My goal is to have dropped 40 pounds by the end of April when I go to New York. That is milepost 1.
How is everyone else doing? I know that there are people reading and that many of you are having success or not-yet success at your efforts. Please feel free to comment liberally and mention what is and isn't working for you. What your goals are. How you are overcoming your obstacles.
Thanks for reading my bla bla post today :) Hopefully tomorrow will be a Ra Ra post :)
~~~~
OK so first.. I met my exercise goals for last week and am 1/3 the way through this week more or less (read: i walked to a meeting in the rain equaling 20 mostly brisk walking minutes).
The icky TMI stuff: despite the mysterious powder attempts and some fiber laxative help, I found myself er... deadlocked. By Sunday evening I did a sea salt water flush. I had used this a few times when I did a 30 day juice fast in 2002. Mix 2 teaspoons of sea salt in a quart of warm water and guzzle it down. No more blockage. In fact, the ocean will rain out of your butt. It EVENTUALLY worked, but not for a while and only after I drank nearly a second quart of VERY SALTY WATER. After that, all I wanted to do was guzzle fresh water and eat fruit.
Monday I woke up feeling like a pickle. I seriously felt like some briny sea creature and seriously OFF. I drank probably 100 ounces of water to try to dilute the salty feeling I had. My eyes were puffy and I had some edema and it was very NOT GOOD. The sea salt is not supposed to be absorbed into your body and I have read hundreds of testimonies of how wonderfully this works and without any side effects. I can only guess that my reaction came from a) poor quality sea salt (dear Josh ran out to get me some sea salt and I had forgotten to tell him specifically what kind and where to find it. He brought back Morton's brand which is probably refined and without any trace minerals.) or b) my current diet plan. Regardless.. it did what it was supposed to do and this morning I woke up feeling normal.
I SWORE I would not weigh myself this morning. I mean.. after being brined.. after eating a bigger than normal dinner the night before and being at the wrong portion of my cycle.. it seemed.. unwise emotionally :) So i did it anyhow. The first time showed a three pound loss.. and the next three times showed three other totally different random numbers (showing gains) so i kicked the damned scale back under my bed and forgot about it. OK so i didn't really forget about it. I internally whined about how hard I have worked at this and GEEZ by now I should have seen a dramatic difference... and why oh why is it SO hard for me to shed this damned weight?
Sniff. Sob. Then I put my skirt on. The same skirt i wrote about last week... and zipped it all the way up to the top with ease (last week i wasn't able to) so that pacified me some.
I have this inner fear that I am not going to see much of a loss by my goal time and will make a public idiot of myself on this blog. Sniff. Sob. I am not sure if I need to eat fewer calories or more. I am going with fewer. This week I was to up my exercise routine a notch.. from three incidents of activity I would not normally do to .. I don't know.. something more. I am still afraid to go to a class at the gym yet. I am SO incredibly out of condition that I am afraid I won't make it through a full class. And I am so not about public humiliation :) (That is why I am writing a blog about how much weight I have gained, right?)
Can you see all this negativity I am stewing in????? I know that we project into our lives and tend to fulfill what we project. This is not what I want to be sowing into my existence.
In other news, I found a site that has all kinds of calculations for dieting... how many calories you need to maintain your weight, lose fat, lose extreme fat (is any of my fat NOT extreme?). One of the calculators was to determine what your ideal weight should be. For my height, gender and frame (medium or large boned) the thing told me i should weigh 91 - 97 pounds (medium boned) or 102-107 pounds (large boned). Are you friggen kidding me? I think my ass weighs that much right now. Ok. No it doesn't. I weighed about 100 to 105 pounds in HIGH SCHOOL. I am not sure i will ever get under 120 again. Maybe 115 if i make this my entire focus in life... but 107????? That depressed me. Even Weight Watchers states that my goal range should be from 97-120 pounds.
So I will weigh myself tomorrow and "weigh in" honestly. If i haven't lost, then so be it. I will adjust SOMETHING in the plan and try to hone in on what I need to do differently.
I am just so impatient. I want to have results like the Impatient Dieter did and drop 20 pounds in two weeks (she dropped it in two days..) and am frustrated that I haven't. My goal is to have dropped 40 pounds by the end of April when I go to New York. That is milepost 1.
How is everyone else doing? I know that there are people reading and that many of you are having success or not-yet success at your efforts. Please feel free to comment liberally and mention what is and isn't working for you. What your goals are. How you are overcoming your obstacles.
Thanks for reading my bla bla post today :) Hopefully tomorrow will be a Ra Ra post :)
~~~~
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Day 12
Welcome to day 12! It is Saturday early evening and as of today, I met my fitness goals for the (last) week: Did three episodes of physical activity in the week (same as last week but more intense). I have been to the gym three times now which is a really really big step. I feel really jazzed up about it again and no longer feel panic when i think about going in there. I have to work at holding my head up proudly and not thinking about how I look like the out of shape fat chick on the treadmill. Instead, I am the pre-fit me in the early stages.
I have not stepped on the scale. On this blog I am going to be really blunt (if you know me in real life.. big surprise eh?) so.. bear that in mind :) I have been taking fiber supplements because this diet has not been conducive to... great regularity... but thus far my supplements have not worked. Until I get this junk out of me, I will NOT step on the scale! And that's that. I did order a cleanse product that should arrive next week. I also read some pretty disgusting and intense things on this site:
http://www.drnatura.com/colonix_program.php?utm_source=DT&utm_medium=AffiliateNetwork&utm_content=Primary&utm_campaign=Brand&bid=3&aid=CD4&opt=
NOT for the squeamish. TRUST ME ON THIS! and it has put the fear of god in me. I think I will try that product next so that I, too, can have aliens fly out of my @$$.
I have said before that the diet part of this plan has been the least challenge of all. I really have to force myself to eat enough calories. I wonder if my body doesn't need as many as I am trying to eat, but 1200 seems like a reasonable goal particularly if I am exercising regularly.
This morning I made a nice big egg while omelet with a very small amount of shredded sharp cheddar cheese (full fat), onions, garlic, collard greens and diced lean ham. (Sorry Riv..). I have only had two of my shakes so I am way below my calorie allotment. Josh and I are going out to hear some music tonight and I will allow myself a beer or a glass of wine. We will likely have a big salad for dinner.
I have to say that it has been great to have a partner who really supports me in this. He is eager to go to the gym with me and likes the things I cook.. and he is very thoughtful in trying not to tempt me to eat outside my allowable things. He is so supportive in every way and loves me exactly as I am right now and would love me if I never lost a single pound. That just makes me all the more eager to do well. I am a very very lucky woman. Even though Valentine's day is approaching and I actually have a sweetheart.. I have to say that every day is like Valentine's Day with Josh. He is loving and thoughtful and romantic and sweet and we tell each other how we feel daily. I can't overstate how grateful I am he is in my life.
So in other news, I have been buying all kinds of little things here and there to help along my process. My big plan has been to "plan to succeed". One reason I have gained so much weight is my lack of planning. I work a full day, get home late... have nothing easy to make for dinner... Carl's Jr. drive through it is. No fries for me, but ... well.... I can snitch a few of my kids fries and a few sips of their oreo milkshake right? Eating lunches out... Josh's and my favorite Tuesday lunch date: Chinese buffet for 5.49 at the Empire... it has all added up. So now i am Planning to Succeed. I never leave myself vulnerable to chance. I have shakes at work, home, and at Josh's house... I have my freezer stocked full of frozen entrees for something quick if i don't have the energy or ingredients to make a salad or something healthy. I will not allow myself to be caught unprepared.
One thing I purchased which is very odd.. are download-able subliminal albums. I ordered one for motivation to exercise and another about being thin for life. There was a free download for deep calm. There are four tracks per album of about 10 minutes of nature sounds... mostly the ocean or a babbling brook on a sunny day. Those sounds are very nurturing to me. I have been listening to them at work over and over again. Do they work? Well? Since i started that, I have been very gungho to get myself back into the gym and it is a strong compulsion. I'll tell you what. Even if it is simply a placebo effect, it was worth the $12 i spent on it. Coincidence or genuine, my days of being sedentary are done.
I also ordered a mini blender to keep at work for my shakes. I had been afraid the shakes would taste like powder water, but they don't. But just to see, i am right now sipping on a shake with the full 8 ounces of water plus some crushed ice and it is great. I can see throwing in a half a frozen banana into one before going to the gym before work.
Also ordered is a bar of MSM soap. Aside from being great for eczema (which I don't have..) it helps with skin firmness and the healing/preventing of stretch marks. After three not small babies.. ugh. I will say no more.
So all in all, it's all a success and I feel good. I would love to tell you I have dropped twenty pounds in 12 days, but I have not. Maybe when i clean the garbage out of my pipework I will see a large drop and if so, you can be sure you will be the first to know! Still.. I am going to keep on. If the weight doesn't come off, I will up the exercise and down the calories a little.
Lastly, one odd side effect of drinking SO MUCH water is that it leaves me actually feeling MORE thirsty than slaked. I actually feel more dehydrated and dry than had I only drank a few glasses of water. I wonder why that is?
My uber-gorgeous-skinny-blonde-friend-who-thinks-she-needs-to-lose-weight has been a great workout buddy and it has been fun catching up with her as we pound it out on the treadmills.
Hope everyone is feeling victorious and working toward their goals. What are your goals? How are you working to reach them? The first step is deciding you are finished with where you are at and decide to take the very first step away from what you don't want and toward what you do want. And don't underestimate what a HUGE step that is.
I have not stepped on the scale. On this blog I am going to be really blunt (if you know me in real life.. big surprise eh?) so.. bear that in mind :) I have been taking fiber supplements because this diet has not been conducive to... great regularity... but thus far my supplements have not worked. Until I get this junk out of me, I will NOT step on the scale! And that's that. I did order a cleanse product that should arrive next week. I also read some pretty disgusting and intense things on this site:
http://www.drnatura.com/colonix_program.php?utm_source=DT&utm_medium=AffiliateNetwork&utm_content=Primary&utm_campaign=Brand&bid=3&aid=CD4&opt=
NOT for the squeamish. TRUST ME ON THIS! and it has put the fear of god in me. I think I will try that product next so that I, too, can have aliens fly out of my @$$.
I have said before that the diet part of this plan has been the least challenge of all. I really have to force myself to eat enough calories. I wonder if my body doesn't need as many as I am trying to eat, but 1200 seems like a reasonable goal particularly if I am exercising regularly.
This morning I made a nice big egg while omelet with a very small amount of shredded sharp cheddar cheese (full fat), onions, garlic, collard greens and diced lean ham. (Sorry Riv..). I have only had two of my shakes so I am way below my calorie allotment. Josh and I are going out to hear some music tonight and I will allow myself a beer or a glass of wine. We will likely have a big salad for dinner.
I have to say that it has been great to have a partner who really supports me in this. He is eager to go to the gym with me and likes the things I cook.. and he is very thoughtful in trying not to tempt me to eat outside my allowable things. He is so supportive in every way and loves me exactly as I am right now and would love me if I never lost a single pound. That just makes me all the more eager to do well. I am a very very lucky woman. Even though Valentine's day is approaching and I actually have a sweetheart.. I have to say that every day is like Valentine's Day with Josh. He is loving and thoughtful and romantic and sweet and we tell each other how we feel daily. I can't overstate how grateful I am he is in my life.
So in other news, I have been buying all kinds of little things here and there to help along my process. My big plan has been to "plan to succeed". One reason I have gained so much weight is my lack of planning. I work a full day, get home late... have nothing easy to make for dinner... Carl's Jr. drive through it is. No fries for me, but ... well.... I can snitch a few of my kids fries and a few sips of their oreo milkshake right? Eating lunches out... Josh's and my favorite Tuesday lunch date: Chinese buffet for 5.49 at the Empire... it has all added up. So now i am Planning to Succeed. I never leave myself vulnerable to chance. I have shakes at work, home, and at Josh's house... I have my freezer stocked full of frozen entrees for something quick if i don't have the energy or ingredients to make a salad or something healthy. I will not allow myself to be caught unprepared.
One thing I purchased which is very odd.. are download-able subliminal albums. I ordered one for motivation to exercise and another about being thin for life. There was a free download for deep calm. There are four tracks per album of about 10 minutes of nature sounds... mostly the ocean or a babbling brook on a sunny day. Those sounds are very nurturing to me. I have been listening to them at work over and over again. Do they work? Well? Since i started that, I have been very gungho to get myself back into the gym and it is a strong compulsion. I'll tell you what. Even if it is simply a placebo effect, it was worth the $12 i spent on it. Coincidence or genuine, my days of being sedentary are done.
I also ordered a mini blender to keep at work for my shakes. I had been afraid the shakes would taste like powder water, but they don't. But just to see, i am right now sipping on a shake with the full 8 ounces of water plus some crushed ice and it is great. I can see throwing in a half a frozen banana into one before going to the gym before work.
Also ordered is a bar of MSM soap. Aside from being great for eczema (which I don't have..) it helps with skin firmness and the healing/preventing of stretch marks. After three not small babies.. ugh. I will say no more.
So all in all, it's all a success and I feel good. I would love to tell you I have dropped twenty pounds in 12 days, but I have not. Maybe when i clean the garbage out of my pipework I will see a large drop and if so, you can be sure you will be the first to know! Still.. I am going to keep on. If the weight doesn't come off, I will up the exercise and down the calories a little.
Lastly, one odd side effect of drinking SO MUCH water is that it leaves me actually feeling MORE thirsty than slaked. I actually feel more dehydrated and dry than had I only drank a few glasses of water. I wonder why that is?
My uber-gorgeous-skinny-blonde-friend-who-thinks-she-needs-to-lose-weight has been a great workout buddy and it has been fun catching up with her as we pound it out on the treadmills.
Hope everyone is feeling victorious and working toward their goals. What are your goals? How are you working to reach them? The first step is deciding you are finished with where you are at and decide to take the very first step away from what you don't want and toward what you do want. And don't underestimate what a HUGE step that is.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Day 11
Welcome to the morning of Day 11. I weighed myself this am and was down over 2.5 pounds since Day 7 and am now at 166.4. Body fat percentage did not change. If I am using my mammogram weight as a genuine starting point, then I have lost 8.1 pounds since I began all of this.
Today is casual friday and my official "How do my jeans fit me this week?" test. Before I embarked on this, my new fat jeans (not sure where they came from.. but they are a size 36 waist Levis) technically fit but left an angry red slash across my tummy with the distinct outline of the snap etc in red. I buckled and went to St. Vincent de Paul and bought a pair of genuine fat jeans.. ones that were deliberately too big for me just so that I had a pair of jeans I could button up and not be in pain. I think those might be a size 16. I haven't technically worn them, but they were there if I wanted.
Last Friday I was able to wear my current fat jeans all day without discomfort until the very end of the day where i felt a slight pinchy feeling in the waist. Today, they feel slightly loose around the waist.
Yesterday my goal was WATER. I haven't been drinking my quota and i focused on getting at least 80 ounces of water in. I drank 96 ounces by the time I left work at 6.
I tried to eat dinner at 7 pm, but I just wasn't hungry for it. I took a few bites and then put it away.
I want to continue with my water goal. It is a conscious effort. I am one of the lucky ones who really likes water.. it is my beverage of choice aside from the amazing strong cup of coffee I allow myself several times a week and my penchant for a fine glass of wine or two.. or a rich microbrew.. or a good single malt scotch, or... OK you get it. I have chosen to pretty much stop drinking alcohol during this part of weight loss because i simply can't justify the calories and I have read that alcohol impedes fat loss. I will allow myself a drink or two here and there as I plan for it.
My other goal is exercise. I really really have to work on that one.. getting into a routine and habit is a challenge for me in the beginning. I wanted to have at least three episodes of activity no matter how small each week. Last week I met my goal, this week I have not. I could possibly walk to my noon appointment and justify it by making the deposit on my way there... I have a gym date for today after work with my tall-gorgeous-skinny-blonde-friend-who-thinks-she-needs-to-lose-weight.
One way I make my water easier going down is by putting wedges of lemons and limes and slices of cucumber in my water jug (I am using a Peace Health plastic jug/mug with a handle for those of you that are local) mainly because it holds 24 ounces and has a removable lid so i can add citrus or ice to it. Otherwise I just keep filling up water bottles with tap water.
Yesterday I ordered an internal cleanse product that is celery based. It is a powder you mix into warm liquid and drink twice a day. I read that the average person carries 5-20 pounds of fecal matter in their body they are not eliminating. That is insanely gross and unhealthy. This source also claimed that Elvis Presley was found to have 60 pounds of waste in his body during his autopsy. Yeah.. let's get that $h!t right outta here.
Regarding water weight loss.. I have been thinking of this and how people scoff at times "oh.. that was just water loss, not fat". So? I don't want to retain water my body doesn't need and feel puffy and bloated. I am happy to rid myself of any weight at all even if it is water or stored old fecal material. Case in point, this morning I was able to slip my rings on my middle finger with ease instead of needing to start off the day with rings on "ring fingers" and later on transfer them to the middle. That shows me I am retaining less water which is GOOD.
I have to say that the eating part of this diet has been fairly effortless for me. I am sure it will get harder as i get really really sick of shakes, but the catalogue that came with the shakes listed all kinds of other high protein low calorie alternatives like bars, hot drinks, snack foods etc. Ultimately I will try to stock up on a variety of options for those times I cannot bear to have yet one more shake.
Between WW Smart ones, Healthy Choice, Lean Cuisine etc.. there are so many choices for frozen low calorie meals that I haven't grown bored yet. They are teensy with little volume (and flavor..), but I can always add in fresh or frozen vegetables to stretch it out if needed.
Well that's all I have for now. It was nice to see a scale drop on the bad evil nasty "week before". Instead of feeling angry I didn't see a ten pound drop, I am happy to see a drop at all. One step at a time. One pound at a time. It's all progress.
Today is casual friday and my official "How do my jeans fit me this week?" test. Before I embarked on this, my new fat jeans (not sure where they came from.. but they are a size 36 waist Levis) technically fit but left an angry red slash across my tummy with the distinct outline of the snap etc in red. I buckled and went to St. Vincent de Paul and bought a pair of genuine fat jeans.. ones that were deliberately too big for me just so that I had a pair of jeans I could button up and not be in pain. I think those might be a size 16. I haven't technically worn them, but they were there if I wanted.
Last Friday I was able to wear my current fat jeans all day without discomfort until the very end of the day where i felt a slight pinchy feeling in the waist. Today, they feel slightly loose around the waist.
Yesterday my goal was WATER. I haven't been drinking my quota and i focused on getting at least 80 ounces of water in. I drank 96 ounces by the time I left work at 6.
I tried to eat dinner at 7 pm, but I just wasn't hungry for it. I took a few bites and then put it away.
I want to continue with my water goal. It is a conscious effort. I am one of the lucky ones who really likes water.. it is my beverage of choice aside from the amazing strong cup of coffee I allow myself several times a week and my penchant for a fine glass of wine or two.. or a rich microbrew.. or a good single malt scotch, or... OK you get it. I have chosen to pretty much stop drinking alcohol during this part of weight loss because i simply can't justify the calories and I have read that alcohol impedes fat loss. I will allow myself a drink or two here and there as I plan for it.
My other goal is exercise. I really really have to work on that one.. getting into a routine and habit is a challenge for me in the beginning. I wanted to have at least three episodes of activity no matter how small each week. Last week I met my goal, this week I have not. I could possibly walk to my noon appointment and justify it by making the deposit on my way there... I have a gym date for today after work with my tall-gorgeous-skinny-blonde-friend-who-thinks-she-needs-to-lose-weight.
One way I make my water easier going down is by putting wedges of lemons and limes and slices of cucumber in my water jug (I am using a Peace Health plastic jug/mug with a handle for those of you that are local) mainly because it holds 24 ounces and has a removable lid so i can add citrus or ice to it. Otherwise I just keep filling up water bottles with tap water.
Yesterday I ordered an internal cleanse product that is celery based. It is a powder you mix into warm liquid and drink twice a day. I read that the average person carries 5-20 pounds of fecal matter in their body they are not eliminating. That is insanely gross and unhealthy. This source also claimed that Elvis Presley was found to have 60 pounds of waste in his body during his autopsy. Yeah.. let's get that $h!t right outta here.
Regarding water weight loss.. I have been thinking of this and how people scoff at times "oh.. that was just water loss, not fat". So? I don't want to retain water my body doesn't need and feel puffy and bloated. I am happy to rid myself of any weight at all even if it is water or
I have to say that the eating part of this diet has been fairly effortless for me. I am sure it will get harder as i get really really sick of shakes, but the catalogue that came with the shakes listed all kinds of other high protein low calorie alternatives like bars, hot drinks, snack foods etc. Ultimately I will try to stock up on a variety of options for those times I cannot bear to have yet one more shake.
Between WW Smart ones, Healthy Choice, Lean Cuisine etc.. there are so many choices for frozen low calorie meals that I haven't grown bored yet. They are teensy with little volume (and flavor..), but I can always add in fresh or frozen vegetables to stretch it out if needed.
Well that's all I have for now. It was nice to see a scale drop on the bad evil nasty "week before". Instead of feeling angry I didn't see a ten pound drop, I am happy to see a drop at all. One step at a time. One pound at a time. It's all progress.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Day 9
Back to work feeling "eh".. no coffee leaving me a bit "BLA".. but all in all, it was a good day.
I arrived at work to the freshly delivered box of diet shakes I had ordered along with the special "blender bottle" that has this round wire whisk ball inside. I was skeptical, but it is truly cool. I ordered shakes that are diet center quality called WonderSlim in several different flavors. WOW! They are SO much better than the Atkins shakes and only 100 calories each! They taste sort of like pudding mix that hasn't set yet. In fact you can use the mixes for pudding instead of shakes with less water. Today i tried mocha, chocolate, and strawberry yogurt smoothie. They are every bit as filling as the Atkins shakes which are 160 calories.. and I feel they taste much better.
Lunch was a 250 calorie frozen meal. Dinner is going to have to be a nice big salad. I do NOT like the lack of fresh produce in this diet plan and am going to need to find ways to incorporate more into it. I am not doing super on my water consumption today either. Only 41 oz so far.
Tonight I am meeting a friend to celebrate her birthday. This is a hard time for her and, while the temptation is going to be hard, it is important for me to go and brave the lounge and drinks and lounge food! I think I MIGHT allow myself one glass of wine. I think if i limit myself to a salad with chicken breast and some sort of low cal dressing, I can justify one nice glass of red wine.
Now that I am beginning to feel better, it is important for me to get my butt back into the gym. I have plans with my uber tall-skinny-gorgeous-blond-friend-who-thinks-she-needs-to-lose-weight to hit the gym as we did on Sunday. I am going to aim again for three days of activity this week and then next week I will try to pump it up a bit.
I am loving these low calorie shakes. I feel VERY full and have consumed 650 calories by 6 pm.
So today I feel encouraged. I am not sick in bed. I am still on plan. I have someone who loves me every single day and not just on Valentine's Day and I don't have to feel worthless and depressed next Monday. This is one sucky holiday when you are single or in an unhappy relationship. Gawd knows I lived thru plenty of those.
I am really really encouraged by the feedback I have gotten. One person who is a relative of mine (that i just met and who actually lives in my state!) who runs marathons and looks amazing... and SHE feels inspired by MY blogs???? I need to spend some time with her and find out how to make this short stocky body submit to running. My body HATES running.
I have a dear old friend from high school who has shared with me the struggles of being labeled overweight as the biggest and harshest stigma of his life. This diet is very extreme. I think many people can see great success with moderation if they aren't in this impatient uber hurry to lose weight fast like I am. And so far.. not sure i am going to! I guess time will tell. The important part is that i am on task and my mind is in that mindset which is 99% of the battle for me. I have tremendous willpower and drive. It is GETTING to that mindset that is my greatest challenge.
So I am at that mindset. I have a goal. I am traveling back east for a side job in late April and I really really really want to have lost some serious weight before then. Both because the uniforms are made for toothpicks (sorry, dear boss friend) but also because I will be seeing some old friends I haven't seen in decades and I don't want to look awful.
And postscript: Same dear friend was joking with me about our mutual favorite movie line from The Devil Wears Prada. She is in Mexico and experiencing.... the typical side effects of such a visit... and boasted of her rapidly receding waist line each splash of the john. "I am ONE stomach flu away from my goal weight!". We women.. OY.
I arrived at work to the freshly delivered box of diet shakes I had ordered along with the special "blender bottle" that has this round wire whisk ball inside. I was skeptical, but it is truly cool. I ordered shakes that are diet center quality called WonderSlim in several different flavors. WOW! They are SO much better than the Atkins shakes and only 100 calories each! They taste sort of like pudding mix that hasn't set yet. In fact you can use the mixes for pudding instead of shakes with less water. Today i tried mocha, chocolate, and strawberry yogurt smoothie. They are every bit as filling as the Atkins shakes which are 160 calories.. and I feel they taste much better.
Lunch was a 250 calorie frozen meal. Dinner is going to have to be a nice big salad. I do NOT like the lack of fresh produce in this diet plan and am going to need to find ways to incorporate more into it. I am not doing super on my water consumption today either. Only 41 oz so far.
Tonight I am meeting a friend to celebrate her birthday. This is a hard time for her and, while the temptation is going to be hard, it is important for me to go and brave the lounge and drinks and lounge food! I think I MIGHT allow myself one glass of wine. I think if i limit myself to a salad with chicken breast and some sort of low cal dressing, I can justify one nice glass of red wine.
Now that I am beginning to feel better, it is important for me to get my butt back into the gym. I have plans with my uber tall-skinny-gorgeous-blond-friend-who-thinks-she-needs-to-lose-weight to hit the gym as we did on Sunday. I am going to aim again for three days of activity this week and then next week I will try to pump it up a bit.
I am loving these low calorie shakes. I feel VERY full and have consumed 650 calories by 6 pm.
So today I feel encouraged. I am not sick in bed. I am still on plan. I have someone who loves me every single day and not just on Valentine's Day and I don't have to feel worthless and depressed next Monday. This is one sucky holiday when you are single or in an unhappy relationship. Gawd knows I lived thru plenty of those.
I am really really encouraged by the feedback I have gotten. One person who is a relative of mine (that i just met and who actually lives in my state!) who runs marathons and looks amazing... and SHE feels inspired by MY blogs???? I need to spend some time with her and find out how to make this short stocky body submit to running. My body HATES running.
I have a dear old friend from high school who has shared with me the struggles of being labeled overweight as the biggest and harshest stigma of his life. This diet is very extreme. I think many people can see great success with moderation if they aren't in this impatient uber hurry to lose weight fast like I am. And so far.. not sure i am going to! I guess time will tell. The important part is that i am on task and my mind is in that mindset which is 99% of the battle for me. I have tremendous willpower and drive. It is GETTING to that mindset that is my greatest challenge.
So I am at that mindset. I have a goal. I am traveling back east for a side job in late April and I really really really want to have lost some serious weight before then. Both because the uniforms are made for toothpicks (sorry, dear boss friend) but also because I will be seeing some old friends I haven't seen in decades and I don't want to look awful.
And postscript: Same dear friend was joking with me about our mutual favorite movie line from The Devil Wears Prada. She is in Mexico and experiencing.... the typical side effects of such a visit... and boasted of her rapidly receding waist line each splash of the john. "I am ONE stomach flu away from my goal weight!". We women.. OY.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Day 8
Here i lay in my sick bed on Day 8... missed work... feeling BLA and looking positively disgusting in my coffee stained over-sized man t shirt and gray capris yoga/sweat pants.
So what do I say.. when you are sick in bed with body aches and a sore throat do you drink dairy based diet shakes? NOOOOOO. I managed to make a pot of Jewish Penicillin and have subsisted mostly on that (sans matzo balls) for the last two days. I have also had some comfort food (pasta.. totally not on plan) plain with some garlic salt.
So the bad news is that I really have not been on my "plan". The good news is that I most likely have stayed within my calorie range. If I have gone over it, it can't be by much.
I have nothing prolific to say except that when one is sick, one must listen to their body. I have learned that when my body starts tapping my shoulder (headaches, body aches, sore throat, run down) it is time to hit the bed and sleep as much as I can. I am hoping that as I lose weight and get more active, I will start getting sick far less often.
That's all I got.
and a big P.S. to some certain special people who have personally contacted me and let me know how much they can relate to my situation and blogs and are following along.. THIS IS FOR YOU!!! I cannot tell you how much that means to me and spurs me onward to keep on and to do well. We can do this together.
No picture. Trust me. You don't want to see me like this :)
So what do I say.. when you are sick in bed with body aches and a sore throat do you drink dairy based diet shakes? NOOOOOO. I managed to make a pot of Jewish Penicillin and have subsisted mostly on that (sans matzo balls) for the last two days. I have also had some comfort food (pasta.. totally not on plan) plain with some garlic salt.
So the bad news is that I really have not been on my "plan". The good news is that I most likely have stayed within my calorie range. If I have gone over it, it can't be by much.
I have nothing prolific to say except that when one is sick, one must listen to their body. I have learned that when my body starts tapping my shoulder (headaches, body aches, sore throat, run down) it is time to hit the bed and sleep as much as I can. I am hoping that as I lose weight and get more active, I will start getting sick far less often.
That's all I got.
and a big P.S. to some certain special people who have personally contacted me and let me know how much they can relate to my situation and blogs and are following along.. THIS IS FOR YOU!!! I cannot tell you how much that means to me and spurs me onward to keep on and to do well. We can do this together.
No picture. Trust me. You don't want to see me like this :)
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