Day 16 and looking forward

OK. My luxurious soak in the pity tub is over. As people have said repeatedly.. I didn't put this weight on overnight and it isn't goign to come off overnight. Let's look at my progress:

I STARTED. That, in and of itself, is huge. If I hadn't started, I would still be .. well.. where I started and more depressed and simply whining about how I hated how I look. TODAY I am in the mindset of progress, I have changed significant lifestyle decisions and I have seen (as of this am) an official 9 pound loss since my mammo in early January.. but specifically since I began this program 16 days ago. I went from being 100% sedentary to the point of taking an elevator instead of going up two flights of stairs to the third floor of appointments.. to becoming NON sedentary looking for opportunities to walk instead of ride and eager to get back to the gym when I can work it in.

A skirt I couldn't zip up the last few inches now zips up all the way. My jeans no longer leave me with the appearance of a surgical scar across my tummy. I am hydrating myself daily. I have limited my alcohol intake to one or maybe two drinks per week if at all. (not to diss on myself, but that is a big change for me).

This morning I weighed myself and was at 165. Not a huge loss from the last weigh in, but it totals 9 pounds from my zap me into reality weigh in at the doctor's office in early January. AND IT'S A LOSS. If I had been doing Weight Watchers, I MIGHT have seen half this loss in 16 days, but likely not.

As I type, I have one of my "ocean sounds subliminals" playing. Again.. if all this does for me is a placebo effect, then that is fine with me as long as I see a result. I can testify that when I had been listening to the exercise motivation ones last week, I was chomping at the bit to get in the gym. I haven't listened to it since and haven't had that pressing urge since.

Also, I am keeping in mind this loss is coming in the worst time of my cycle. I am content that I saw a loss.

I also FEEL different. Have i dropped two sizes? No. But that last bit of hugely uncomfortable extra I had put on is not here anymore. And I am 9 pounds closer to where I was 16 days ago.

Dispelling well-meaning advise:

There are (at least) two kinds of people who have faced weight loss needs. Those that have always had weight issues and have needed to constantly be on top of it or conscious of it from childhood on and those who grew up without weight issues but have come to a point in their lives they have weight to take off due to childbirth or age or bad eating habits that have caught up with them.

I have seen people who grew up skinny even eating unlimited junk food, drinking soda, and never needing to pay attention to these things who find themselves as adults utterly clueless how to cope with weight gain. Some learn how to take the weight off and some simply never address it.

I am one who is genetically predisposed to certain traits from birth. My brother used to joke about one of my baby pictures calling me the Michelin Tire Man. As a baby, I had fat pads like the said character even though i wasn't a fat baby, per se. I was never fat as a child or teenager, but I struggled with weight issues. I had a teensy waist naturally, but was significantly bottom heavy. I have literally never ever a single day in my whole life had thin legs. And I assume that I never will. I can post pictures of myself at 95 pounds at the age of 16 with a rail thin waist... and heavy thighs. I have never ever been looked at as skinny. I come from a family with both weight issues on one side, genetic body characteristics on the other side and extremely neurotic self-hating weight/eating habits/thoughts generationally. I remember being "on a diet" at the age of 8. I have never not been conscious of my size. I was also married to a man who preferred ultra stick skinny women and was never content with my size even when I weight 107 pounds AFTER having a child.

I grew up knowing how to cook healthy and economically. I have been a raw vegan, done long term fresh juice fasts, done low carb heavy carnivore diets, and everything in between. There was a time I ate only fresh fruits and vegetables with raw seeds and nuts. I made salad dressings out of first cold pressed olive oil and ground seeds and nuts. I know all about what to eliminate that is unhealthy. Except for an occasional loaf of potato bread and Challah, I literally never have purchased white bread in my adult life. I nearly never eat pasta or rice.. even at the Chinese buffet. I KNOW HOW TO EAT HEALTHY. It is really really hard for me when people tell me "Just cut out xyz and the weight will come off". Please know that i appreciate input and believe that is the healthy way to eat. But it will NOT make the weight come off me. Please trust me. When I did Weight Watchers to the letter and ate at the bottom of my points allowance, I might have dropped a half pound to a pound a week IF THAT. And sometimes I didn't lose anything at all consistently.

After I had my youngest, I tried several different plans and found myself stuck or gaining. I eventually went on a series of water fasts, juice fasts, eating raw, and doing a combination of the above to finally lose about 30 pounds. And I did maintain nearly all of the loss even when I began eating "normal but extremely healthy" again. But eating raw alone.. no weight loss.

Please trust me on this. You don't have to agree with me or do what I am doing, but please understand that I know my body and I know what doesn't work for me. This is what I have chosen for very specific reasons. I have no intention of living forever on prepackaged frozen meals and diet shakes. I feel confident I can maintain my lost weight by eating in the ways I know to be best for my body: a diet based on fresh produce with minimal carbs and plenty of lean protein. And lots of exercise.

OK. I am done with all that.

So I wanted to share a few of the tools I have found helpful to me. This is the daily diary I have been printing off and using to keep track of my eating habits, calories, water, and activity. Sometimes I jot feelings down or goals.

http://www.personal-nutrition-guide.com/food-diary.html

This is the web page of my "Guru Hera". http://www.easywayshow.com/
I realize my results will not mirror hers for a variety of reasons, but she has been a huge inspiration to me. She has a Youtube site and a blog as well. You can probably find all that by on the website or by googling Impatient dieter. Unfortunately, she has not been quite as active lately on her page, but please note that her weight loss journey is many years old and that she has maintained her drastic loss for two years. I look at results like that and listen.

Here is a web site I found yesterday that I found compelling. I haven't explored it thoroughly, but it began as three sisters on a weight loss journey and evolved into a site with over 70,000 followers. I got my weight tracker at this site. http://www.3fatchicks.com/

So today my focus is to drink my water (yesterday I was lucky if I drank 24 whole ounces. Today I need to hit about 96 or so) and to get motivated and make concrete plans to get back into the gym. I have two more workouts to make my weekly minimum and I vowed to "step it up" in some way this week. This might involve getting onto some lifting machines when i am off the treadmill or simply having a fourth day.

One of my friends expressed a concern that my 40 pounds by the end of April was setting myself up to fail. Yeah.. I can see that. But I have seen 9 pounds in 2 weeks more or less.. so it is possible. It is what I am aiming for. If i surpass it... wonderful. If i don't meet it but have lost 20 or 25 then i am that much further ahead than I was. It IS possible. Is it probable? Maybe not. But I plan to try.

Most of all.. I have so much appreciated all the support and comments I have gotten. Each of you who are following the blog "officially", I have silently noticed and appreciated each one. Even Tricia who I haven't even acknowledged but have meant to say THANK YOU and I am so glad you are here. I thank the ones who have read my blogs and commented on my Facebook Page and urged me onward or told me how my blog had sustained them that day (Like you, Ilana). You are my support team and I cannot overstate how much I appreciate the support and comraderie.

Have a successful day.. whatever that means for you..

S