Day 26

Today is Day 26. In my fantasies, I would be about 30 pounds thinner today. In reality, I am ten. If you had told me that I would lose about ten pounds in one month and that most people would not really be able to notice a difference, I probably would not have embarked on the journey. That said, had I gone the traditional route (Weight Watchers etc) I would likely be under a 5 pound loss now, if that. The truth is that this is one fifth of where I want to be, so I am choosing to focus on the fact that i have completed one of five steps. If I complete my journey more or less in the next four months, then I will have lost 50 pounds before summer. And that is huge.

I weighed myself yesterday and my weight was exactly the same as it had been the last time I weighed. I was actually encouraged. In the very beginning I weighed myself a few times and got a sense of what the real weight was because it changed each time. I now am committed to step on the scale ONE TIME only and whatever it says, I am claiming. So when i saw the exact same weight, what it said to me was that it was a genuine one pound loss and not a glitch whatever the first weigh in happened to say the day I had weighed. Make sense?

How do I feel? I feel smaller in the middle. I keep looking sideways in the mirror expecting to see the small waist I used to have and sigh as I see the smaller version of what I had grown to be. I do feel a difference. I have a sense that I am about to turn a corner and will see a decent loss in the next week or so.

I have really dropped the ball on the workout thing. I walked one time this week and did the meager two flights of stairs to my appointment on Friday (I do several flights of stairs a few times a day anyhow at work.. but this was a change.. not taking the elevator when I normally would have). There is still tomorrow. There is still tonight if i feel up to it.

I am not drinking my water. I am not sure why I am having such a hard time with that lately. It could be because I haven't been feeling well and I don't like cold water when I feel sick.

I haven't been writing everything down like I had been. I think I have stayed pretty close to my maximum, but unless I keep track, there is no way to know. Homemade chicken soup is not on my plan and I have subsisted greatly on that the last week or more. I have no idea if i have had more than I should. All I know is that I feel like crap and all I want to do is get a lot of rest and drink warm liquids.. so I am going with that for now.

So that reset button I guess has been on "pause". I am just not going to beat myself up for not super excelling. I am really doing well. I have totally avoided almost all temptations (example of giving in: I had some golden beets/butternut squash/onions at my friend Daniel's house last night which was probably starchy and high in calories. Example of NOT giving in: I bought my kids some patisserie quality eclairs for dessert the other night and a bag of chocolate covered pretzels and i didn't as much as lick a spoon. I haven't taken a taste of anything I have felt was not OK for me to eat since the weekend I felt I had overindulged. I have really made good choices. I don't even feel badly about the dish (and seconds on it..) last night because it was organic fresh vegetables and, at most, it was higher in calories than I should have had, but I doubt I went over 1500 calories for the day.

So I am just checking in. Nothing outrageous to report except that I am keeping on. The alternative is to put the ten pounds back on and get depressed. Not going there. If in a month I have dropped another ten pounds, then I will be elated. I am still aiming for a 40 pound loss by the last week of April.

My wish: I wish I had a treadmill in my house for those days I just cannot get out of the house and I feel a modicum of inspiration to work out. My place is small. There really is no place for a treadmill.. but if i had to redo my room and get rid of something in order to have a treadmill in there.. I would do it. Anyone getting rid of a treadmill? :)

On the bright side, I am having a wonderfully relaxing weekend with my daughter watching movies we have wanted to see and just chilling. It is very well needed.

I hope you all are keeping on. A chuckle to the person who replied to my last post that I was RELIEVED that i was only sick and not hungry :) So true. Very sad!!!

~S at 165.2