Retiring Fat Clothes

It's really interesting.  Yesterday, I wore one of my wardrobe staples to work.  A narrow floor length skirt with a flowy short sleeve black top.  I wore that outfit once a week forever.  At dance class last night during warm up (in front of a mirror), I noticed how awful it looked.  I looked big and sack-ish.  When I went home to change into comfies, I saw in the mirror that this shirt, that has been one of my happy mainstays for a really long time, is something I am going to have to retire now.  It was bittersweet!!!!  I love this top. But it looks awful now because it is huge and baggy and it is NOT flattering.

My pile of clothes that are being retired is getting bigger.  It's an enigma.  I have a whole section of clothes I have not worn often because "It will look better if I'm a little smaller," but when i get smaller, they don't look good because they are too big on me and look like they are a size too big.  There has been great safety and comfort in my too-big clothes;  they were easy to hide in.  I am a little afraid to get rid of them.

I am not complaining.. it's just an interesting phenomenon.  Thankfully, I have a whole bunch of clothes from before I gained this recent past 7 years or so weight.. but they probably are no longer in style or really MY style anymore.  I guess we will see.  I am in my size 10 jeans which has been my gateway size between fat and not fat.  I am not going to see any loss for probably another week due to cycle, but the next chunk of loss is going to be a really big deal to me.  Last time I weighed and checked in my progress, I was just a little over 145 bringing me JUST BELOW a twenty pound loss.  But even moreso, I am getting closer to breaking out of the 140s.  Since 130 is my wedding goal, I can see a finish line in the distance.  The finish line of my weight loss 10K compared to the finish line of a weight loss marathon.

And to recap, I have lost 19.3 pounds in 74 days or 2 1/2 months or under two pounds a week. This is not rapid weight loss even though I am eating a very low calorie diet.  If I were eating at what I used to think was my TDEE -20% I would STILL not be losing any weight.  Right now, I am going with my gut on this, although I am not sure I think this is sustainable long term.

I am used to my calorie level and the amount of food I have grown used to eating. Most of the time, I don't feel 'dying of  hunger' although there are times I really really really want something different or a dessert. That said, last night, I had a compromise dinner.  Had a dinner meeting at a deli we really like and I chose a pastrami sandwich (the lesser fatty of the choices) on lettuce instead of the gluten free bun and a small side of very mayonaise-y cole slaw (I only ate half and i tried not to eat the goopy mayo sauce) and i ended up having very sharp pains in.. I am not sure what organ it is.. I am thinking my gall bladder.. that have not fully gone away.  Maybe eating something fatty after eating mostly lean proteins?  I am not sure.  I am a little concerned, but I will see how this goes.

Anyhow, postscipt:  I am going to need to buy some transitional clothes soon.  I might make a trip to a thrift store this weekend and go hunting.  It will be interesting to see how many wrong sizes I bring into the changing room before I figure out where I really am now.  My mind takes a while to catch up to the loss..